a little more time...

2 weeks passed and things are now getting easier. It was really really hard and painful during the first few days but today, im finding myself starting to wear that smile again and carrying the feeling of being loved and appreciated. It's so wonderful.

When a person doesn't have the courage to face you and clear things out, then he's not worth the time, not worth the pain, not worth the thought... not really worth the struggle. And yes, it's really better to just shut up and let it go. After all, it's all his loss... not mine. In fact, it was him who wanted to put things this way.

Bitter? no. I'm just trying to save myself to be drowned deeper into this petty issue.

And with the help of those whom i knew who'll stand by me, things get easier.

"EMO" and my "BLF"... the key people into how i managed to survived and get off this shit. They are the one who knew how exacty i am feeling... and not any people at all. I have been quiet all this time and I am also glad in a way that those people around us also are sensitive enough not to talk about it. 

This morning with EMO will be one of the most treasured moments i ever had. It was, really really something i never expected to happen. To cross a boundary means risking an important friendship relationship and that I am not yet ready to face. After all, I just been into a deep heart trouble and to face a new battle is not my mood right now. And still he understand. 

My BLF on the other hand is always there, 24/7. Ready to listen and understand how i feel.. Well to be the person who sees everything happening, to know every single detail.. im just blessed to have her.

I have lost a so-called "close" friend whom in just a snap decided to be just a "simple friend" (i never thought he has this kind of categories for his friends), but its no big deal. Not worthy anyway. A living example of how you can test what the word "friendship" really means.

Just dont mess with me again... because you dont have any right to and i dont really deserve it.

When im totally fine... maybe you just really have to leave me alone.


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