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10 months ago
better.. good than yesterday... and the other day.
Few days more.. i will be back to my normal self... i will be more alright... back in shape... fully recovered.
To you: Just make sure to stand up with your decision. It is YOU who wanted it this way. Im just giving you what you want... and i'm not turning back...
got this message from a friend last night:
"Life is too short to stress yourself with people who doesn't even deserve to be an issue in your life"...
... really makes sense.
i have been pained by some people i thought who knows me deeper...
i am losing 2 of the people i used to value much.
i have been through a lot... gone through hell, lost my pride many times, slapped in the face, rejected repeatedly, been treated like shit over and over... and yet I am still here, choosing to understand.
it hurts me when people so close to me apprently sees me as a stubborn, immature, hard-headed bitch that they have known... judging me from the way things are going without really understanding and looking deeper into my reasons...
i have my fault(s) too... and i knew that.
you have said your word and to know that it's easy for you to set-aside, and worst, to throw-away the "friendship" shared makes me realize that some things are really easier said and done.
but if that's what you want.. fine with me. it would be hard for me.. yes. but it would be much harder if i continue living in this what i call now as my "sweet nightmare"...
and so, my life goes on..
after seeing this earlier when i got home...
this is, so far the worst ever. usually its just a small clot, sometimes you can't even notice. but this one, its far too different from the previous clots i ever got...
they are starting to grow... bigger.
** i just thought of posting this tonight just so to have reference if in case something that is not so good will happen soon...
Just got home late last night from our day 2 of Motolite Express Delivery Streamering Campaign Project. This time we rove along the vicinity of Manila...
sabi ng may ari ng tindahan:
"sige patungan nyo na si chowking. wala naman kaming napapala sa knila e"
wehehehehe!
and last friday night, i did an on-the-side "racket" job for Nature's Planet Product Launch. A memorable day for me and my kuya... why? Only Wisa knows... *wink*
Day 1. September 25, 2008.
It was the trial day of our streamering campaign for Motolite Express Delivery Program. We went around Makati area and look for a good visible household location to put up the M.E.D. Streamer.
MED is a program of Motolite wherein you can have your car battery delivered right at your dorrstep or in any place where you encounters a need for battery change. Just call 370-6686 (370-MOTO) and in less than 30 mins your new battery will be delivered up to where you are. visit www.motolite.com for more details. Ayan po, free plugging....
It was a tring fun day for the six of us ... Me, Cheng, Esmond, Ayee, March and Roger. Climbing up the ladder, convincing household owners and scouting for a house where the streamer is good to be place.
Parang amazing race. hehehe...
...a term used to describe an absolutely sober person due to too much intake of alcohol.
until last night that it gave a different meaning to me...
we discovered that it is ACTUALLY a kind of liquor served at Pier One, composed of 16 mixes of various alcohol.. that could actually make one person a .. bangenge!
And as promised, details wouldn't be divulged...
Basta, last night would be one of the most unforgetable experience of my one closest sister... *wink*
Yesterday.. he's sick again. Just right after updating the Security Update 2008-6, he then had a hard time booting up...
I tried, to the best that I can, perform some troubleshooting taught to me by the care support people from Apple... but sad, i failed. I need to bring him at PowerMac Center at Megamall (and it happened to be their grand opening day) and there he was checked.
It so happened that the update that I did caused him to have a failure in reading his hard drive. Which caused me to perform the "archive and install" thing that lasts until 4am earlier.
It is just about now that I'm done doing all the re-installing and updating of the softwares, plug-ins, programs, and his own operating system.
etong si macky talaga... laging nakikisabay sa mood ko... hmmm...
You can never really have everything in life. You may give your best shot, your best effort but it wouldn't be enough to satisfy your wants... your needs.. because you keep on asking for more... hoping for something everyday. And worse, that aside from yourself, despite of everything, people cannot appreciate or even see the worth of what you've done.
Life isn't fair. So much true. But yeah, it's still good. Living this life is just part of the curriculum that God has prepared for us... and those hard times, aches, pains are just the test that we have to pass. Just like an algebra lesson, it wouldn't last that long in our life... it would actually just be a phase, but the lessons learned will stay for a lifetime. We'll have the hardest time of our life solving the problem equation, and, the moment we're done, we know how to resolve the problem the next time we encounter it.
But easier said than done.
Ive been through a lot, that most of the time, i'm into the same mistake again and again.
The problem: I easily trust people.
I have always been the one left hanging when everyone seems to find their comfort zone. I have been a friend, a close friend, a bestfriend, whatever kind of a friend you can call (hmm... a green thought just peeked-in :p). I am really really blessed to have a real true friends around (mind you, i can only count them... as in those tried, tested and sincere).
Lately, i have been into a paranoia of what friendship really means... Up to what extent would a real friends can give to one another?
Have you ever been into a situation wherein your friend is in deep sh*t, and you were there, giving your all-out support, time and effort. You were at that point, was the person's source of strength, sharing everything about his/her life, and as if you were his/her soulmate. Making promises of not leaving each other, of being there for each other.
And when everything goes well with that person, you'll eventually find yourself stucked on that same place where you two used to be together and then that person is finally moving forward away from you. Simply because, ok na lahat. wala na syang problema
What hurts most is, now that you're the one down, you can never feel that person's presence... because he/she is busy minding his/her own life.
Oh well, I shouldn't actually expect for that person to reciprocate all of what i've done. That's what friendship is all about anyway... to give and expecting nothing in return...
it just hurts...
and i cant do anything with it...
I am just blessed that there are people around who never feel tired listening to my woes. Two people who knows that much.. every single detail of how i feel... and i wouldn't know what to do without them... two people i am sure wouldn't leave me... They knew who they are, i need not to mention their names.
To move forward when you're stucked is hard. But it would be harder to let myself be buried totally into this place without doing anything to get out.
i am...
so much...
lucky me i still have my mind posting this...
how i wish i am floating like this forever... no pains, no aches, nothing.....
everything seems so numb....
and no one can ever knew how im feeling....
only me, myself and i...
i terribly.. super-duper missed you...
wish you were here... i won't be as much as down like this if you're here. you are my strength, my inspiration, my best bestfriend...
if i have one wish right now, its to see you, hug you and say i love you even for a single second.
i love you mommy... and that would remain in my heart forever...
it's your 59th birthday... and im celebrating it.. alone.
See you there, soon...
we had a sumptous lunch today... by our dear ma'am elvie who just turned _1 today... haha! don't mind her age.. she still looks younger than her age though...
carboloading lunch: lasagña, her super duper delicious pesto, veggie salad with her own trademark honey mustard dressing and fruit salad...
super busog... wala na nga kaming paglagyan lahat...
mda, ma'am cel, ma'am elvie, thedd, bee, moi and khaye
.. a bonded strata family
Thanks thanks for the super duper lunch... it's definitely good for the whole day!!!!
Starbucks Megamall...
Etong si kagz, mahilig manggulat e...
I was about to go home last night when Minz and Parteegurl called for a little hanging-out since for the past few days we are all too toxic with work. Met up at St. Francis Square and the four of us had dinner together.. sa foodcourt lang ng Mega kasi tipid mode na lahat..
And then Minz told us the good news.. *big grin*... and i am now looking forward to next week... SANA NEXT WEEK NA!!!
Siguro dahil sa sobrang na-excite si rhedd e biglang humirit ng "tara starbucks tayo! treat ko!"... syempre walang pagaatubili e tayo na kame agad dahil baka magbago pa isip nya... minsan lang to magpasalvo.. ng wala wala lang... hahahaha
thanks kagzzz!!!! and yeah... ilang tulog na lang... NEXT WEEK NA!!!
happy...
September 4 @ Choi Garden Annapolis...
Happy to see her happy...
with Red and her High School Friends...
Coolest Mom and Dad ever!
BFF... forever...
habang kumikidlat at kumukulog pa sa labas at wala pa kong pag asang makauwi...
here's some random pics lately...
DECADES, Metrowalk. August 29, 2009
My Post-Bday Celebration with my office gurlfriends. It was a DOLCE gimik initially, but for some reason, we ended up at Decades. It was sooo fun... and i miss it so much... its been so long since we went out together...
FONTANA LEISURE PARK, Clark Pampanga. Agust 30-31, 2009
Straight from Decades, with no sleep at all, we went up north to La Union for a whole day training and then went straight to Fontana for a weekend vacation...
hmm.. mukang mahina na ang ulan... gotta go....
BFF's bday pics ad other updates.. soon...
Burned myself to "Dont mess with the ZOHAN" last night and sad to say, i didn't enjoyed the flick. Good we didn't pushed to seeing it on the widescreen. It was a choice then between this and Mamma Mia. And even BF agreed, it's good that we choose the latter.
Remember this post? (Click here)
Aside from some little parts that made me laugh, there's nothing so much interesting in the movie. I got soooooo bored.
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3 consecutive days na sobrang gulo sa area. nakakatakot umuwi ng late. we usually hear gun shots around... and its becoming a regular thing...
scared....
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Saturday night: TREASURED.
Last night I realized, other people has so much greater problems than me... I thought that my baggages burdened me that much but I realized... it was not so much of a big deal.
It has been so full of drama the past days... and now, I want to make my life drama-free... at least the remaining of it...
Live.Laugh.Love....
Life is really too short to fill it with dramas...
At least I have told people I loved them... there's nothing left in my heart to keep...
And it feels sooo light....
been away for a while.. wasn't able to post anything.. out of any updates... been a little busy...
coping up.
and im back to my own self now. i have found what i needed and im doing the best that i can to get back to normal.
...Been to La Union and Fontana for a weekend getaway.
...Celebrated BFF's 28th
...Met new people
...Waking up from a a dream i thought was something to treasure.
Alot happened, really. And i don't know if I want to post every detail here. Maybe some of it, or should i say, most of it ar not worth remembering... and i still have to deal with it up to now.
but anyway, i know things will be ok eventually. just need a little more time...
a BIG BIG thanks to my Little Sis and BFF for standing by...
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