You can never really have everything in life. You may give your best shot, your best effort but it wouldn't be enough to satisfy your wants... your needs.. because you keep on asking for more... hoping for something everyday. And worse, that aside from yourself, despite of everything, people cannot appreciate or even see the worth of what you've done.

Life isn't fair. So much true. But yeah, it's still good. Living this life is just part of the curriculum that God has prepared for us... and those hard times, aches, pains are just the test that we have to pass. Just like an algebra lesson, it wouldn't last that long in our life... it would actually just be a phase, but the lessons learned will stay for a lifetime. We'll have the hardest time of our life solving the problem equation, and, the moment we're done, we know how to resolve the problem the next time we encounter it.

But easier said than done. 

Ive been through a lot, that most of the time, i'm into the same mistake again and again.

The problem: I easily trust people.

I have always been the one left hanging when everyone seems to find their comfort zone. I have been a friend, a close friend, a bestfriend, whatever kind of a friend you can call (hmm... a green thought just peeked-in :p). I am really really blessed to have a real true friends around (mind you, i can only count them... as in those tried, tested and sincere).

Lately, i have been into a paranoia of what friendship really means... Up to what extent would a real friends can give to one another? 

Have you ever been into a situation wherein your friend is in deep sh*t, and you were there, giving your all-out support, time and effort. You were at that point, was the person's source of strength, sharing everything about his/her life, and as if you were his/her soulmate. Making promises of not leaving each other, of being there for each other. 

And when everything goes well with that person, you'll eventually find yourself stucked on that same place where you two used to be together and then that person is finally moving forward away from you. Simply because, ok na lahat. wala na syang problema

What hurts most is, now that you're the one down, you can never feel that person's presence... because he/she is busy minding his/her own life. 

Oh well, I shouldn't actually expect for that person to reciprocate all of what i've done. That's what friendship is all about anyway... to give and expecting nothing in return...

it just hurts...

and i cant do anything with it... 

I am just blessed that there are people around who never feel tired listening to my woes. Two people who knows that much.. every single detail of how i feel... and i wouldn't know what to do without them... two people i am sure wouldn't leave me... They knew who they are, i need not to mention their names. 

To move forward when you're stucked is hard. But it would be harder to let myself be buried totally into this place without doing anything to get out.


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