and life goes on...

i have been pained by some people i thought who knows me deeper...

i am losing 2 of the people i used to value much.

in as much as i want to speak even just a little to defend myself, i choose to keep still.  i am afraid that i might say something that I would regret afterwards. 

i have been through a lot... gone through hell, lost my pride many times, slapped in the face, rejected repeatedly, been treated like shit over and over... and yet I am still here, choosing to understand.

it hurts me when people so close to me apprently sees me as a stubborn, immature, hard-headed bitch that they have known... judging me from the way things are going without really understanding and looking deeper into my reasons...

i have my fault(s) too... and i knew that. 

you have said your word and to know that it's easy for you to set-aside, and worst, to throw-away the "friendship" shared makes me realize that some things are really easier said and done.

but if that's what you want.. fine with me. it would be hard for me.. yes. but it would be much harder if i continue living in this what i call now as my "sweet nightmare"...

and so, my life goes on..


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