BITS AND PIECES

The very sense of the word "independence" ... at first i thought as simple now seems to be more complicated. I know a lot of people who are dying to get this... especially the young ones who are craving for their freedom... for doing what they want... without any hesitations and compromises from their parents.

It was merely a decision for myself to be independent. Of course, I should be. Right after my mom left me... and my dad has to concentrate on other "things", there's nobody left for me to depend on. I should do it on my own. I have to survive... and I wanted to prove something... whatever it is...

It was hard... really HARD. Believe me, I have to undergo a lot of challeneges that I almost give in... thinking and asking myself: "did I really made the right decision?". But then I thought, whatever it is that I choose, I have to stand up on it and prove to everybody else including myself that I CAN DO THIS! That I can make my Life....

Moments I haven't experienced when my mom was still with me arises the very moment I stepped into the real world. Financially, emotionally, every aspect of my life has changed. I have to live differently from before. Now I have to be more responsible.

I work hard to pay for my living... rent, food, clothes, groceries, household need, pang-gimik, and those "sometimes" I give to my relatives in need. It feels so good to have my own income, without depending on anybody else. I have debts once at a time, but I can easily pay for them.
I go out with my friends... watch movies, malls, night-outs, bars, gimiks... I can go wherever I want, I can do whatever I want...

RESPONSIBILITY. The very word that I am carrying all through this. Everybody tells me: "you have to be responsible in your actions". Yeah right! But I guess it is not applicable only to me... but with everybody else...It just so happened that I am living all by myself. But, in all honesty, I know I have been handling this "responsibility" thing very well... so far... *wink*

It was also in this stage of my life when I learned who my true friends are and how true are the people that surrounds me. There are those who will only use you and there are those you will stick with you even on the steepest road.

I have some pitfalls too, in my life... some things that I never intended to do but somehow.. well adds up to my growth as well. Of course I also brought a lot of mess into my life... but it never occurs to me to felt any shyness at all... instead, I am glad I've experienced them and just brought me to where I am now...

Where I am now is an almost dream come true. I may not get what I really dreamt of but still... there's a lot more time to move and reach for it. I may not yet have proven my worth but as a person... deep inside myself... i believe... a part of me is worth keeping.