BITS AND PIECES

i love the way you touch my hand...
the way you look into my eyes...
the stroke of your fingers into my hair..
your smell...
the way you say i love you...
the moments we were together...
the endless phone calls....
the weekend dates after a week of intoxicating work...
the way you hug me...
your kisses...
the sweetness in you...
your simple way of showing me you miss me...
our moment alone...

i wish and pray that you're the "one"
He planned for and gave me as my answered prayer...
that years from now, we'll still be together
holding on to a promise...

:-)

Time for self-pampering ... :-)

My brother is undergoing a training for his work here in Manila and thus, he's staying with me for 5 days. Sayang nga kasi sandali lan ...5days.. but it's ok though... at least we have could have time for a borther-sister bonding. :-)

I picked him up at SM Megamall right after his first day of training.. that was around 9pm. But I was at the area by 6pm and so I decided to give myself a little treat. A foot spa, pedicure and manicure at Let's Face It. I was actually checking up some other salons that offers hand and toe treatment... TIPS n TOES, DAVID's, pero lahat ang daming waiting. So, wala nang choice kundi Lets Face It. Great!!! It was at least relaxing for me after all... I even wanted to have a massage or any body treatment but I can't coz of time constraint. That foot spa and nail treatment costs me 2 hours... and I have to meet my brother by 9pm.

The nail treatment was great and much more the foot spa... it feels good to see my hand and toe in its good shape again.. *wink*

ahhh!!

Enough of the dramatic and emotinal posts! So to say *wnk* It kinda helped anyway...

Now I'm back to my own self. Having been in a phase of "sobering high", now I'm starting to get back on my feet. :-) It was really exhausting to undergo in a stage where all day youre feeling low and alone, so to speak.

I just hope that these coming weeks would be something to look forward to!

I'm glad my brother would stay with me for the next 5 days... :-) Good thing he'll be having his training... *wink*

it was a week of unpredictable flow of moments... where I thought everything would lead to an end... when at the end of the week, I found myself crying so much... all alone.. and still pretend to be ok in front of everybody else except to yam and tita malou...the two souls who were there all these times...

I cried so much! I do! For what I thought to be a perfect "thing" seems to be heading on to the rocks..

then last night i received this from you:

"i know i've hurt you. I don't mean it. Please believe me when I say I will fulfill my promise... not because I need to but because I want to ... I'm not giving up on you... please don't give up on us. I promise to work things out... please... stay..."

so how would I react to this?

You know how much sacrifices and risk I made... how many times did I ignore all those criticisms on us... how i managed to keep quiet inspite of all the things I've seen and heard... simply because I'm holding on to our promise.

A promise that we made since the moment we became close... and i never knew it would become so serious that we have taken it to the next level... coz we thought... "this is it". And yet we failed.

if you really mean what you said, then do it... as much as I want to give up... I can't. Because ... I still believe in you...

I just dont wanna cry... anymore...

so please...

I attended a seminar on Adobe CS2 yeasterday with my editors (she, allan, kibs, and lindle) and leslie, our associate producer at Onstage Greenbelt 1. The seminar was all about the new features and products of Adobe CS2 out from the past versions of Adobe.

I thought this was kinda exhausting coz straight from our tape dub-out, which means we haven't got any sleep at all, we have to listen to a whole day seminar. But it was not! It was simply amazing! Personally I was amazed at the same time excited and hoping that our office would get that creative suite in the next... hmm.. 3-6 months???? *wink*

I was caught up with Adobe Go Live! It was what I am really looking for! A software that could simply help me in customizig my blog! Plus much more, I guess it would be a big help in our plan of having a mobile video streaming!

Sad coz we didn't got any luck on the raffle.They raffled off a mouse tablet and a CS2 Box! Imagine that! The winners are so lucky... really! A CS2 suite worth 70,000 is no joke.

Now I know what I want... of course number one would still be that Laptop now only much more specific... APPLE IBOOK G5 would do!!! plus of course I hope I ciuld have a CS2 box!! (O kaya kahit Go Live lang muna)hehehe!

Few weeks from now, i'll be a year older...

I am thinking about any special gimmick or happening for that day... unless of course I would spend it again all alone just like the other year... work has its calls and I have no choice... I am hoping that this time, I could have at least a time for me and my family and friends...

Anyway... I though about jotting off a "wishlist".Who knows... hehe! baka sakali may makakuha ng idea on what gift to give me... ayt?

Number 1 on my list: LAPTOP - really! I wanted to have one. Kaso laging nauudlot coz there's a lot more other things na kelangan paglaanan ng money..

2. BLUE TOOTH or INFRARED Device(so I wouldt ahve a hard time sharing files) It's just around 1,200 - 1,500 *wink*
3. CAR (ok lang talaga kahit 2nd hand... daddy!!!)
4. MY FRIENDS IN COLLEGE - Monique (ayoko nang humirit ng surprise party *wink*), Van, Chi, Trina, and Chris plus the extended tropa... Doland, Simund, Morx, Eyds, Ron, Jeoff, Lorry, basta lahat lahat...
5. A WEEK VACATION or more!! (from work... nakaka burn out na kasi especially pag mag ganitong critical issue sa Pilipinas)
6. A TIME FOR MY FAMILY - Hope we can go out that day... pero mukang imposible...
7. A TRIP TO US - For free ha!!! hehehe
8. Sana itreat ako ng CREATIVE
9. A prayer for that one person na sana he could realize the value of people around him
10. At syempre... A prayer for continuos blessings and guidance, good health, and strenght for myself and other people.

Tatanda na naman ako...

Minsan masalimuot ang buhay

May mga bagay na gusto mong gawin pero di mo magawa dahil iniisip mo rin ang kapakanan ng ibang tao. Mga bagay na alam mong makakapagpasaya sayo kayalang dapat ka munang magpaubaya para sa kasiyahan ng iba.

Maraming bagay na di ko maintindihan. Bakit ganito? Bakit ganun? Halimbawa na lang... bakit yung ibang tao hindi nila maintindihan yung ginagawa ko, my lifestyle sabi nga nila, yung mga katwiran ko? gayung ang simpleng simple lang naman. Kung minsan ipapakita nila sayo na naiintindihan ka nila pero pag nakatalikod ka na, ayun pag-uusapan ka na.Ewan ko ba!

Siguro dahil magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo at paniniwala. Ang sagot ko sa mga taong lagi na lang nagcricriticize: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Ganito ako e.. at alam kong wala akong ginagawang masama. Kung sa tingin nyo at kung iniisip nyo na meron akong kalokohan... bahala kayo. Wala namang mawawala sa akin. It's all in your closed mind!

Sa kabila ng lahat, pilit ko pa ring tinitignan ang mga bagay bagay sa bawat angulo nito. Kung minsan naiinis na ako kung bakit lagi na lang ako ang kailangang umintindi... and laging magbigay... ang laging tumahimik sa tuwing nararamdaman kong agrabyado na ko... hindi ako nagpapakamartir pero ayoko na lang ng diskusyon... Pero pinaparamdam ko naman na bad trip ako.

Bakit kasi may mga taong sobrang sensitive? bakit may mga taong manhid? bakit may mga taong sarado ang isip? bakit may mga taong tanga? (Isa ba ako dito?)

Wala lang.. napapaisip lang ako....

Emptiness enveloped my being.

My wings are trapped... i cannot fly. I am confined on the thoughts of you... wishing and still hoping that one day you'll help me spread my wings and fly...



Then if not, please dont let me just fall... for I now the risk of pain...

Tears just kept on flowing from my eyes.. if only I could wake up from this dream...

and go back to reality...

It was a super busy weekend for me... One of those weekend where I have to make much of my time to attend into everything that I needed to do.

Saturday...

I have to wake up early coz I'm travelling all the way from Makati to Cavite to pick up Ysa, my "sister-and-cousin" in one. I have to pick her up coz her dad wouldn't allow her to travel alone or with anybody else except me (such thing called "trust" hahaha!). We are going to Bulacan for Abigail's (our cousin) birthday. But before heading to Bulacan, we dropped-by first at Pampanga for Pen's son's birthday too. It was a promise that we'll be there so we have to be present. We stayed there for a while and then headed to Bulacan. There, Ysa had the time to visit Lolo. It was like years since she last visited our grandpa.

Sadly, we cannot stay there that long coz tom would be a much more toxic day for me as I have to work. And Ysa, too, has to do research in our office later that day.

In short we arrived back here at Makati by 10pm. See the picture? Travelling from one end to the other.. It was no joke. As we lay down on our bed that night, Ysa told me... "Ate Day, lagare tayo ngayon ah"

The next thing I know.. I woke up with my cellphone's alarm... simply remeinding me it's a Sunday... it's 6am.. and I have to wake up...

Sunday....

The ususal 10am body clock of waking up is no sense this day. I have to be at the office by 7am. Today was our company's kick-off party for our 20th year anniversary. And, like having no choice at all, I was assigned on the morning shift.. 7am to 1pm. And to make everything worst, I have to do my assigned work all alone. Mike (my editor-partner) didn't show up. And now, he owe me ONE BIG TIME!!

By 7:30 we are already at Glorietta doing the set-up of what was suppose to be our gimick for the event. We have our own booth and we thought of doing a vtr screen test to those aspiring tv host and giving a cd copy to those who will audition for free.

The event started off by 10am with a mass by Fr. Orbos and then followed by the formal opening of the celebration. A lot of people filled the Activity Center and more and more people are coming through all throughout the day.







I was assigned on the vtr test together with other staff of INQ TV. It was FUN though especially when you see people falling in line to our booth andhaving to do different acts as they audition. A lot of freebies were also given by different departments.









Beside us were the INQUIRER LIBRE Booth where they have a fortune telling. And I did tried having my fortune read by the lady. And the result?? hmm... leave that to me... it's kinda funny though..

TRUE FAITH