im here at the ofc... sa table ko... tulala. NOT feeling so well... not in the mood for toxic workloads... pero sa totoo lang tambak ang trabaho... pero wala. as much as i want to start working, wala ako sa wisyo... ang layo ng utak ko.
naiisip ko...
- im back to personal training. after the last session i had months ago, nahirapan ako imaintain on my own. i need someone talaga to spot me on my workout. iba pa rin kasi kapag natututukan ka. depende na lang din kung magaling trainor mo (uhumm!!!!). plus self-discipline na rin. i had 2 trainings already and there's more to go.
i was actually about to stop my gym activity kaso natakot ako baka bigla akong lumaki ulit... sayang naman lahat lahat. Hah! "excuses".
- kelangan ko ng maraming raket. Ang dami kong dapat bayaran na bills.
- Nawawala yung isang spindle ko ng Blank CDs. Dammit!!!!!
- God is so good. He's helping me to survive despite of everything that's happening.
- Im still in doubt. NOT so sure of how to feel and react towards someone.
- I miss the BIG 4.
- Lapit na birthday ni bespren Van Van. Manlilibre kaya sya?
- Lapit na rin birthday ng Daddy ko.
- Hay! kung andito lang si Mommy...
oh well... still nagsabi ka pa rin ng totoo... kasi wla ka nang lusot...
but for what reason that you need to lie?
so shallow.
from now on... i wont ask anything from you anymore...
since di ko rin naman sure kung totoo or hindi yung sinasabi mo...
Sabi mo i am you Bestfriend? Most trusted person in your life? hah! now i doubt it...
just go on...
and i will try not to care... anymore.
missed my workout...
missed a dinner with the boyps (though we were together during our regular "snacktime")
missed the session with BIG 4. (Big 3 lang ngayon coz si Kuya, nagliliwaliw sa HongKong)
all because of....
my dearest cousin's biglaand despedida gimik...
Pen called me up that she'll be leaving for Taiwan and ngayon na lang daw sha free to treat us. Matitiis ko bang hindi pumunta????
So, I went home early... and waited for them. Sinundo nila ako sa bahay.
Then we head to Baywalk.. wala lang... we just stayed there for a while. Until mga 2 am. We just spent the time together coz we know it would be long till we can do this again. Medyo matagal si Pen sa Taiwan e... She'll gonna miss my birthday (sad) and the plans of out of town trips... mukang di na rin matutuloy. Hay!
For sure, super uber mamimiss ka namin Pen!
yep yep... hindi sya masyado (or kami?) excited. or she might just be afraid na sya ulit ang late. coz we have this thing na anyone who arrives last would be the one to treat everyone for food! i was once a victim of this policy when I wasn't able to meet them becaus
anyway... we were inline at Megamall Cinema by 9am... we got the 10am screening time. So we had breakfast first at MacDonalds and then decided to enter the moviehouse 20 minutes before the screening time. Para we could have a good seat. Good thing, pagpasok namin, pwede kaming tumubling tumbling kasi konti pa lang tao. Though majority of the crow
The movie was great. Though I like spiderman 2 better. Pero in fairness, maganda mga effects ngayon. Sulit naman ang effort at pagpila namin ng maaga just to be one of th
Well, ang importante, he's not hurt and walang nangyaring masama sa kanya...
I was eager to cantact him upon learning what happened. I was at the gym that day (Saturday) when one of his co-trainers approached me and told me the incident. That time, I really felt sorry. I know he's been into a lot lately and this incident just adds up to hi burdens. Pero.. wala rin naman akong magawa. Dinaan ko na lang sa prayer.
That same night, I had dinner with Jaime. She's also a member at the club and we were introduced before by Kit. Nakakatuwa kasi we were able to say hi again to each other after a long time... nagkataon lang na nagkasabay kami sa drinking fountain nung fashion show night. And then we had a small chat before the show starts and her rpm class. So para ituloy ang kwentuhan, we decided to have a dinner and coffee... nung Saturday.
And then he called up.. Sunday morning. An unregistered number appeared on my phone and when I answered it, it was him. He asked if we could go out after his work. If we could watch movie kasi nadedepress daw sya. I said yes. He also asked me if I could go to the gym that afternoon for a workout... he'll give me a training... and then after his duty.. we'll go out. Sure I did. (These actions of mine... I really don't know if im doing the right thing... pero that time... ang inisip ko... para sa isang "kaibigan")
Well.. sige. I also wanted to be with him. Matagal na rin since last kami lumabas. I missed him. Sobra. And he knew that.
Complicated lang kasi.
Alam din nya yun.
Pero... we both enjoyed the night naman. Kahit pareho kaming broke... still we had fun. Siguro dahil feel-good din yung movie.
Isa lang...
I just miss the good old days...
ok. kahit halos lahat ng mga models e mukang kabado, still u guys made a great job! Congratulations!
ng cake... hmm... yung chocolate mousse!
ng sinigang.. hmm.. sinigang na sugpo! huwwaaw!!!
ng green mango shake
mag out of town
mag relax sa isang tahimik at di mataong lugar
maging busy
ng raket.. ng madaming raket... para may pambayad ako sa credit cards ko
laging makasama mga friends ko
ng quality time kasama daddy ko
makita mommy ko even just for a single second
mag videoke...
ng beer
pero... bakit ganun? parang may kulang pa rin...
simple lang naman ang gusto ko. ewan ko bakit hindi ko makuha... bakit hindi ako mapagbigyan...
gusto ko lang naman na...
.... maging masaya.
Link
gave me the reason to stop.
you showed me the way out.
yes, it could probably be my fault why all of a sudden you felt that way. I have become and acted so close, when in fact I should'nt.
I thought I knew you that well...
and you showed me that I was wrong.
I don't know how you were able to say all those things to me before.. which made me kept on holding on. Believeing that we share this kind of "bond" which only the two of us can understand.
and im sad that in a snap... everything changed.
all these times, I have been around and wanted to save this. Trying my very best to understand every little things you said.
shallow reasons.
and now i am thinking.. maybe the rumors are true.
I have given you my trust. As much as possible I didn't want to entertain the thought. Because it's your reputation... and I don't want to believe that you are what others are thinking.
im surprised.
now it's over.
Im letting it go...
I cannot take it anymore. I'm giving you what you want.
I am giving myself a chance to be happy.
on my own.
