He has changed. A lot. Surprisingly, he's not the old pasaway kid we knew back then. His stay at the seminary caused him to be a little "better" now. He's more "religious" now, so to say. Which i think is good though. Hindi lang siguro kami sanay na ganun sya. And the fact that our family is not that "strict" (am i on the right word here?) when it comes to religion.
It's not our routine to pray before and after meals, me personally, dont attend mass regularly.. or every Sunday, but I know my faith. It's within me.
Anyway, im glad that he's here. I missed him so much. He is may favorite inaanak.
And, since tito and I are free yesterday, we went out, with Ysa. Headed to Mall of Asia and bought him stuffs. Then ate out. Namiss daw nya kasi yung mga moments like that sa province.
And he's staying with us until the end of the sembreak. He'll be able to make it on All Saints Day to visit mommy, lolo and lola.
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speaking of the coming holiday, until now i haven't got the time to buy candles and stuffs. I know I should be doing it by now.
I still have until tommorrow to do it anyway. *wink*
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Extra challenege ako today....
My boss asked me to present 5 studies of catalogue cover for BPI. Due in 5 hours. haha! Well, I was actually prepared for it anyway. Kasi Friday pa lang, I already have the feeling na mangyayari to today. Erika already advised me na I have to make studies nga daw.
I was just glad, boss is in good mood earlier and that she already commended my work while im on the process of doing the first study. It motivates me. Ending up, I was able to give her what she needed. From the five studies, she had 3 choices. Then gave me some of her inputs for minor revisions.. and then tadah! She asked me to email it to her and then she, eventually forwarding it to the client.
Erika! sabi syo e.. relax! harhar! we shouldn't be affected by the pressure.. hehehe! Well, boss is actually giving her the pressure since weekend... plus the fact that the girl is under the 39 degree of temperature until now. Gurl, please GET WELL SOON!!! Because I'll be needing your rescuing power soon! hahaha!
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Will go to the gym later...
Need to check out on something....
this should be included on my previous post...
i weighed myself again...and im back to....
122 lbs!!!
whoa!!!!
i pretty made sure i have the focus on "my workout" this time.. haha!
my routine:
warm up --> 15 minutes on the threadmill
followed by: 30 minutes on handbike (actually dapat 15 minutes lang din pero dahil sa na-corner ako ni marlo at pinagawa nyang 30 minutes. ang laki daw kasi ng upper body ko ngayon!)
then: 3 sets of 50 reps sit-ups
then: 20 minutes on the stepper
then: machines for triceps
then: 15 minutes on the bike
finally: stretching
i wanted to take the rotex pa nga kayalang di na kinaya ng powers ko. salamat sa overflowing free red bull that night.
i really felt great. with steam bath and sauna right after. sobrang relax...
i am very much satisfied...
but i als had a hard time sleeping last night
maybe because nasobrahan ako sa red bull kaya di ako makatulog...
... or because i am patiently waiting for something that was promised to me?
all the doubts are gone...
everything's back to normal...
TRUST... is the very word.
I'd rather believe in you than to anybody else...
there's much more to it pa pala... damn!
and i know that there is much more that i should look upon at...
or maybe i should just rely on my trust?
as long as i don't have the proof, i will still believe that everthing's ok..
kaya nga may word na "benefit of the doubt" di ba?
I expected so much... inviting disappointment to my system.
I don't have any choice either... or maybe I had. I just didn't (or at least even tried) to see the light in it.
I just thought that things are better that what it seems to be.
But its not.
back then, we used to talk everyday. keeping in touch is in our system. aside from seeing him everyday on national television every morning and on primetime shift, we always make sure that we talk and catch up everytime we're both free. he would call me up on my cellphone and talk for hours, or sometimes we go out.. depende sa trip.
lately, it has been different. no calls..or even text messages. there are some but mostly forwarded messages. i wonder how is he? what is he doing? what's up with him?
i know what happened has been very hard for him. and i understand how he felt. i never said a word though. i just waited until he opened-up and tells me everything. and then he kept quiet. I tried to reach out for him but I can't even find him. maybe he just needs space.. some time for himself....
surprisingly, after months, i heard about him through our bestfriend. the past weeks i always asked this bestfriend of ours about him.. how is he doing...what's up with him. i did missed him so much. the fact that he never keeps in touch. I just assumed that he's fine.. coz i still see him on tv doing his works and he seemed to be ok naman.
anyway, our bestfriend told me that he's doing fine. that he is quite happy with what's been happening to him lately. Good. I mean, I'm happy to know that he's doing great... and that he's having the moment of his life having in him what he wanted the most. not like before when all i can see is the sadness in his eyes...a longing which he couldn't have... the hapiness he coudn't exactly get.
i may not know every details of what they have talked about but for sure, he's fine. im glad that he again communicated, even not to me, but still i know he's there.
i can't take away the fact that we are still friends... no matter what it takes. i dont know if he doesn't feel like talking to me or whatever but i am still here. i just miss the "good old days"
and i just wanted him to be happy.
as for me, i am. so much. i never thought i would recover from the pain that he unintentionally caused me... but i did... and im ready to hear from him again... because we are "friends".
