at this point when I am on my "downside" I realize am still blessed to have friends I never expected to be there...

and it's another proof that God hears our prayers...

last night... before I left the gym... I saw Anna.. one of my gym buddy. She was actually lookin for me din pala. We chatted... mostly about my current "issue". And she gave me a clear view of what's been really happening. I was enlightened. I was cleared. Yes.. I got her point... and it really was the real thing...

Taking things as it is... Treating things on its "face value"... what you see is what you get... Things could sometimes get complicated but I can do nothing with it... If this is what it should be... then let it be...

On my way home... I wanted to go somewhere... not feeling of going home yet... but there's no one I can tag... I tried calling some friends but they're kinda busy... and suddenly while crossing the street.. I saw one familiar face... RJ. Who at that time also have the urge to unwind and looking for someone to be with...

D: "Arj!!!"
RJ: "Daei!.. Gurl san ka punta"?
D: " Uwi na sana e... kaw?"
RJ: " May gagawin ka ba? dinner tayo!"
D: " Sure! Gusto ko rin tumambay muna e"
RJ: " Ay ako din! I have so many things to tell you! I was actually looking for you... Tinatanong ko nga si joebel kung nasan ka na e... si daei ba buhay pa?"
D: " Shit arj, i needed someone to talk to right now!"
RJ: " O tara....lets go.."

And there... we stayed at Teriyaki Boy Megastrip... hours of talk... catching up.... upadating each other's "latests".

Again I felt good... that somehow I was able to release some of what's inside me...

Last night... I was surprised... that for the first time in two weeks... I found myself not waiting for someone's call... or just simply not thinking about it... and not bothering to wake up every time to check my phone...

And this morning... as I walked to the terminal going to office.. I saw another old friend... Allan.. the newest daddy among my friends... We chatted about lot of updates.. the feeling of being a new dad... his happiness now that they have their little angel... the old inqtv days... and im glad he was able make my thoughts get rid about my "issue" (and he doesn't even know it). And it helped a lot...

And... upon arrival here at the office, the moment I opened my pc... checking my email.... I saw 2 new messages from 2 old friends again...Jas, from my previous work and Maite, my college classmate.... both of them asking how am I. Bakit daw wala akong paramdam...

It was just so surprising that long lost friends could come to you in time you really dont expect themto come...

I am happy...

And I realized... this is one way of God in answering my prayers...

Letting me know there's more out there that what I thought it was...

Im glad I have friends...

Yes! it's my 1 year here at the ofc..

actually its me and bianca... she's just 1 day ahead of me.

Last year, I was here for my contract signing and orientation. I officially reported to work the next day...

Surely, time fly so fast.. I couldn't believe it has been a year...

And for a year... a lot of things happened: career growth, new friends, new environment...

and so far... im still here... alive and kicking!

and what me and bianca calls for celebration???

here...


Yesterday, a lunch at Bacolod Chicken Inasal at Metrowalk. Wala lang. We just thought na mag lunch-out for a change... and since I also need a little walk... plus the anniversary thing kuno...

We also had 1 bottle each... at 12noon! konting trip lang naman... and as I said.. I need it... I am not really on a right track the past days...


What we had: Chicken Petso, Adobo Flakes, Bottomless Iced Tea, SML and 2 garlic rice... Sobrang busog! We actually had a hard time walking back to the office...


I enjoyed the lunch date... not as ordinary as what we used to have...

Having to deal with confusion, with a question that keeps on playing inside me...

still grasping for an answer....

this caught me...

part of yesterday's gospel...

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

and the priest's homily say it all...

it was so ironic that we are all grasping for love in this world where everyone has full of love to give. It's just that each and everyone create their own walls.... the reason why every love that we can share are all limited... bounded by our own walls... by doubt.. by fear... of taking risk.

and after the mass... everything on mind was cleared...

before i close my eyes that night... i did what i should do...

and it pays off...

perfectly....

mula kanina pagsakay ko ng mrt... nakarating ako ng sm megamall... sa pizza hut... hanggang dito sa gym...

BAKIT NAGKALAT ANG MGA KOREANS????

Pilipinas na ba ang bagong KOREAN TOWN????

crying hard last night didn't helped...

as i thought it would.

but no... the pain still remains...

inside.

and there's nothing I can do to ease it...

maybe just let it pass... and eventually, hoping things will be all right...

i wanna feel better...

i miss...


the long walk...

the smiles...

the laughters...

the feel of your hand on my back...

holding your hand...

the long talks...

the ring of my phone and seeing your name in it...

your voice...

your hugs...

the movie dates...

the dinner...

the messages...

the way you say "i miss you"...

the stop-overs just to say "hi"...

the serious talks...

our late night stay somewhere...

your visit to my place...

your corny jokes...

your being yourself...

your bloopers...

the way you make me smile...

the way you appreciate me...

and...

YOU.


its not that these are not present anymore... they are, actually...

and im happy you're still here...

its just that... im simply missing them...

just like the way it was before...