I don't have the reason to be angry...
I don't have the reason to be mad...
Things happened the way it should be...
Let it be that way...
Someday... soon... I'll know I'll find what I'm looking for...
I have been tortured by the thoughts of you lately... The picture of us together is stuck on my head and that moment was played again and again on my mind...
I want to see you again.... I am always hoping for that moment to happen again... sooner... longer.
You have caught me, if in case you didn't know. Much more... just to let you know, you have grasp my attention from someone...what's with you? I really don't know...
Simply... I'm missing you...
My whole world has been blurry since monday...I can't see things clearly... I have a hard time recognizing everyone...
It's hard when I am in this state... I left my contacts and my eyeglass at my dad's house last sunday when I went home for the weekend... and all I thought everything would be ok... nah!!!! Kahit eyeglass lang, I should provide for myself... Tomrw, Im going to optical shop at glorietta to have one...
Things have been so hard for me!!!
As for my contacts.. maybe I'll have to wait till next week for me to went home again... (now I have the excuse of going home... and seeing the reason of my happiness last sunday) hahaaha!!!
Everyone of us has a song that connects to our life, right?
Here's mine... just wanna share it with you...
oh well.. i really love this song... from the first time that I heard this.. given to me by a friend...
Sunday... april 24, 2005... around 1-3pm...
it was the best... the most wonderful travel i had in NLEX.... (i've been travelling in that highway almost every week but that day was the most memorable one)
i hope it would happen again soon...
According to meriam-webster online....
FREELANCE is ....
Main Entry: 1free·lance
Function: noun1 a usually free lance : a mercenary soldier especially of the Middle Ages : CONDOTTIERE b : a person who acts independently without being affiliated with or authorized by an organization2 : a person who pursues a profession without a long-term commitment to any one employer
we often refers to this word in terms of work right? but... hmm... i wonder how it feels to be one in terms of... relationships?
what do you think yam?
Lately I've been wondering why am I feeling this way...
I am not excited to see you anymore... I don't wanna be with you that much either... I feel ok even if you're not there. I'm happy if you call but i'ts ok even if you don't.
The thrill of seeing you and being with your company lessens as day goes by... Is it because I'm starting to realize something?... or is it because someone had grasp my attention from you? Someone who's giving me the care and attention that I was waiting and hoping from you?
Or maybe, I was just too focused on you that I failed to see what's around me?
I am afraid I'm loosing the feelings I had for you.... much more I'm afraid that when you are ready, I am not there for you anymore...
i am a daddy's girl...
that was how some people knew me... yes i guess I am... but that was when I was a child. I grew up spoiled by my parents (of course especially my mom) and daddy was such a loving and wonderful dad. I remember then how he would tell me stories, play with me, do silly things, laugh and most of all taught me so many stuffs that many people find me smart. I grew up knowing that I have a father to lean on. I remember how, despite of his busy schedule, he'd manage to take us out for movies, shopping, etc. It was our usual activity then to bond together every weekend... and that's when I thought I had the PERFECT family....
As an only child, I looked up on him, with all the ideals I have in a family. He's a lawyer and I am very proud of him. I am so proud to see that other people also looked up on him. And yet he stays humble. I knew then that he loves us so much... me an my mommy... together, i thought then, that someday... we would still be the perfect family that people would looked up to.
As I grew up, things changed. And oh! yeah, my brother. I have a brother though. Half-brother who's also in my age. I'm just 2 months older than him. And we are close.. really... we grew up together without any complications at all. We may have different mom but yes! we are really in good terms. Even my mom and his... everything was fine.
Complications as such didn't serve as a hindrance with my relationship with him. A lot of things happened but still, I can't find the reason to be mad at him. Because he's my father.. and because I LOVE MY DAD. Most of all, my relationship with my brother's side has become stronger.. even with his mom.
And now that I am all alone... I know he's still there. We may not see each other that often but I can feel his love and concern for me. We have fights sometimes but I guess it's normal. We'll just be quiet for a moment then eventually, things will go on fine.
I always smile whenever I receive messages from him just to say.. "I Love You" and then I would reply the same thing. Now I know I should say it because I never had the chance to say it to mommy. And I mean it.
And though I am a grown up now, now that we are talking about mature things, I can still see the soft side in him... and feel that I am stil his little baby that he plays with before. And I am glad that in some ways, we still have this bond once in a while which I treasured so much. His concern for me is much more greater than anything else.
I love my dad. Things may go out of way, I know he'll always be there for me.. same as I am with him. I don't care what other people say. I miss him.. a lot! If only I could....
I will always be my dad's little girl...
Simple yet very vague... seems to be so light but yet you hace to handle it with care... delicate... lucky you if you could find a genuine one... for keeps and to treasure...
Im blesse'd coz I have some...
these people having my thoughts at the present...
CLENG - you're the best among all my bestys!!! ... you're my twin sister... my soulmate... my confidante... my ever loyal. Should I say, my no. 1 fan? *wink* The journey that we had can't be compared to anyone else. Thanks for sharing your life with me. I love you... and adrian...and andrew.... Thanks for letting me be part of your family. You knew me so much as well as I do. Im glad we're still hangin on... i love you!
KUTE - Nique, i will never forget your message on my debut: "you can tell me anything and everything... i'll be willing to listen... and rest assured maiintindihan kita kasi ... i love you" . And I do too. Thanks for the unending understanding and patience. For keeping up with me for 10 years and hopefully... till forever. You were there in all the times i needed a friend. A shoulder that's always ready to catch me. Thanks girl... Welcome Rotonda will never be the same without you!!! I had you best on October 14, 2000, 2:00 pm. Remember? I'm lucky to have you.
VAN - Don't feel sorry for all that had happened. You don't have to say sorry for the times you were'nt there with us. And I don't want you to tell me again that you failed us.. coz you didn't! You were just a wonderful friend that we all luckily have. And we are still here... we believe i you! You're the strongest among us all.I know you.... :-) Van, a friend like you is hard to find! kasi nag-iisa ka lang! And we all love you! Honestly? i miss you! You and nik are my angels! do you know that?
3NA - I miss you...
CHRIS - And I miss you too.... Sorry.... If you think that I have failed you. Still, im just here ... waiting...
CHI - Please keep in touch... How's gelo and mark?
DOLAND - You were just one bright star that keeps on shining and still manage to look down on us! hahaha!!! thanks for the trust and for being there! for the frequent unlimited phone chats... for the laughs and comfort...for the time (i know how precious your time is *wink*)... most of all, thanks for being you...unpretentious and honest! I really appreciate it! See you soon!
LOVE & SHAYN - You guys helped me to recover from a serious pain! (naks!) and I thank God for giving me sisters like you! Sa hirap at ginhawa.. di ba??? Love.. thanks for introducing me to our usual friday gig (it helped a lot) Shayn.. in all that we've been through...alam mo na yun! hahaha! Peace tayo!
CREATIVE 20+ - Danica (though ur not there anymore), Yam, Bam, Darwin, Chelle, Rayms, Khot, Ric.. oh well.. i have given you my personal message before I left. *wink* But really, this group is the best. Wonderful! Fabolous! a group that I can call my family.
PEN - You rock! i kow you've been very eager to hear what happened, right? hah! lets see.. soon... hahaha!
Still there's more... people that touched my life in some ways or another... people that brought me to where I am now.... friends will always be be friends they say.... and i guess that's really it.
I wasn't really a shopaholic (uhm.. well.. yeah... quite...) but I got attracted by the book Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella). Maybe because of its stand-out pink cover... and yes! by the title itself. I mean, It was really something that I told myself... I can relate to.. maybe. Then as I flip over its first few pages...
That weekend I went to Powerbooks greenbelt and look for the book (coz i saw it at Powerbooks Megamall) but unfortunately, it was Out Of Stock! Funny right! Then I thought... maybe it was really a best seller that even the 2nd part of the book was out. Waah! Oh well I have another way.. there's still a National Bookstore at Glorietta (where my ofcmate bought her copy). As I walk through the books floor, cross-fingered, I search for the book. And along a separate shelf there it was! that pink-covered book... with a sign BEST SELLERS!... then I got one! I had it! Confessions of a Shopaholic. :-)
The book was so hilarious! I mean, It was really something that I enjoyed reading at. I can really find myself in the story... Then suddenly, I realized... sometimes I know how it feels to be in the state of Becky Bloomwood. You know, having that impulse to buy on something and considering it as an investment... or the other way.. treating yourself out... for the hardwork and stress from all your days activities. Good thing I'm not a financial journalist. haha!
Realization got me as I'm halfway through the book. Realization that made me laugh and that made me think I am Becky... that empowered woman who has a problem (sometimes) managing her finances.. realization that.. i am too is a shopaholic...
10 stars for this book!!!
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